The past is over, the future doesn't exist, and we have just this moment, called present, between the past and the future.
Pray before to do, think after to do. God wants everyone in the Heaven, but He doesn't force anyone. He calls you, and you need to accept the invitation and have a life according to God's recommendations. I Corinthians 10, 31:
"Whatever you eat, then,
or drink, and whatever else you do,
do it all for the glory of God."
or drink, and whatever else you do,
do it all for the glory of God."
Use the past to make better your future in this moment.
I'm praying for you. Pray for me too.